The Three Little Bears in Italy
by retrogreen16
Summary: Spoof on Three Little Pigs takes place in Italy-i even researched stuff 4 it
1. Dante

The Three Little Bears in Italy

Rated PG for valance and stuff

Based on the book 'The Three Little Pigs'

Chapter 1 Dante

Once upon a time in a town called Terni lived three little bears and their mother and father. The Three bears were Dante,

Francesco, and Luigi. The two parents were getting old and their baby bears were no longer babies. It was time for the three

sons to move into a home of their own. So the three bears packed up their stuff and set off.

The first bear, Dante was looking for material to build a house when he saw a priest with a wheel barrel of soil. Dante thought

hard for a moment and decided he could smash it together to make a house. Then he offered some money and soon got what

he wished.

Dante had a nice little house and a wonderful job. He had a lovely wife named Asunta. One day when Dante was reading

'The Terni Times' a knock came from the door. Dante was the only one home at the time because his wife was at work and

the kids, Philip and Benito, were at school. Dante sighed got up and looked out the peephole in his door and gasped. It was

the bears' worst enemy since the beginning of time, a deer.

The deer called, "Little bear, please come outside and play with me."

"NO, NO; not for all the valuables in my house," yelled the bear.

Then I'll knock your casa down playing bocce," replied the deer. The deer took out a gigantic ball from his back pocket and

with a grunt he sent it rolling towards Dante's house. With an earsplitting scream the ball knocked down Dante's house and

crushed him. The deer came over and rolled the ball off and devoured Dante. Licking his lips the deer washed his hands in a

near by creek.

"Ah," said the deer, "Who can resist a taster BBQ bear sandwich. Hmmm…I'm still not full though. I wish there were more

bears here for me to consume. After all I'm ever so…" But the deer was not able to finish his sentence for his nose had just

caught the sent of a juicy young bear nearby.

* * *

ok how did u like it? i know it was short but hey! Ok now i have somemore stuff a comming 


	2. Francesco

**Chapter 2 Francesco**

_rated PG 4 no real reason that i can explain_

Quite some time down the road the second little bear, Francesco was on his way to find something to build his house with. He

was just about to sit down when he saw a priest with ten barrels full of grapevines. Francesco thought that he could weave a

house with them. So the bear asked the priest if he could buy some grapevines for a house.

The priest just laughed and said, "Whatever you saw buddy! You want to build a house out of grapevines be my guest. Just

don't ask for any refunds."

After a couple days of intense weaving Francesco had a lovely house. One day Francesco was watching Television when he

heard a knock on the door. He was about to answer the door when he remembered what his mother bear always told him.

"Never open the door with out looking to see who it is first."

So Francesco went to his window and peered outside. Francesco saw something so bloodcurdling that he practically jumped

out of his skin. It was a deer!

He gathered up his courage and yelled out the window to the deer, "What do **you **want, **DEER**."

The bear replied, "To play with you, you **tasty**…um…you **good** **looking** bear."

"Why should I listen to **you**?" said the bear. "After all, you **are** the race of bears' worst enemy and you are also dripping with

blood! And you look like you are hungry, but you also are **SO** plump. Just like you at something. NO, NO! I won't let you

in, not for all the valuables in my house!"

The deer finally said, "Fine then! I'll knock your casa down playing bocce!"

And with that he took out his enormous ball (still bloody from Dante) and gave it one big push.

Meanwhile Francesco had no clue the deer would do that so went back to watching television.

The deer was grinning like crazy when the ball hit the grapevine house. Then he heard the bear squeal. He ran over to where

the house had stood and gobbled up the bear.

* * *

ok so that wasn't as long either but the last chapter will be longer how do u like it so far? REVIEW 


	3. Luigi

Chapter 3 Luigi

A few miles away Luigi had been traveling for days. He had seen a priest with dirt and one with grapevines, but they never seemed to appeal to Luigi as 'building material'. Soon after though, he saw a priest with a whole lot of ore. In no time he had bought some ore and built a mighty fine house.

Luigi had everything he had ever hoped and wished for. He even had an electric fence for keeping out unwanted deer. It was also invisible. To keep him from getting zapped he made an invention that made it impossible for bears to run into it. Instead they would run right thru it. He also got it patented.

Meanwhile the deer had been following the sent of Luigi. When saw his house his nose went bonkers. "This must be the house of my dessert. Another fine and juicy bear to eat," he thought to himself. Then he grinned and laughed. He had just thought of a plan to eat this one without it even knowing he was there. "I'll just play a game of bocce without telling him," he managed to say between bursts of laughter.

So the deer got out his ball and gave it a big push. The ball began to roll and roll, and roll and roll, and roll! Until it bounced of the invisible wall and knocked the deer down. Brushing dust of his shoulder he got up. Then he decided if the ball wouldn't kill this bear he would himself.

The deer backed up and started charging towards Luigi's house. When he was about halfway to the house he smashed into the invisible electric fence and buzzed to the ground as a black crisp. Cursing under his breath he grabbed a stick and put it right in front of his feet. Careful not to shock himself again he got up and said, "That's where that stupid wall thing is." Then he retrieved his bocce ball and bounced his ball high over the fence. It hit Luigi's control system and the fence appeared then turned off. "Excellent!" he said folding his hands together.

Soon the deer had made it over the fence and knocked on the door. In a flash Luigi looked out the window and gasped.

"Little bear please let me come in. I have some tragic news to tell you," said the sly deer. The bear thought for a moment and then grinned.

"Sure I'll let you come in, but I'll be in the bathroom first. Wait outside for just a minute please," answered the even slyer bear and he went to his kitchen quickly.

Outside the deer was waiting impatiently and then he thought that is WAS for a GOOD reason. So he continued to wait.

Meanwhile inside Luigi was sharpening his axe. The he yelled, "Come in please Mr.…um…Mr. Dee." In went the deer and down went Luigi's axe. Luigi quickly looked inside him and found Dante and Francesco. They were still alive, but were in poor condition. Luigi got some band-aids and fixed them up good.

They talked it over while eating the deer for Christmas dinner (with Mother's special spaghetti of course) and decided never ever to build another house again. And the three bears lived happily ever after.


End file.
